Disclaimer : I wrote this in two parts. The first half whilst I was in the midst of the mess. In a pretty dark space. And the second half when things had kinda fallen into place, and I suddenly felt like perhaps there was a path emerging.

Part of me wanted to scrap everything I’d written and come at it with a fresh perspective - but that wouldn’t have honoured the journey. And if it wasn’t for the wrangling over the last few days I would never have arrived at this point. So screw it - you can see both sides. The ugly and the wise.

Never before have our daily routines been so stripped back. The conditions remaining the same pretty much every day. We’re not racing out the door to go to work. We’re not stacked with face to face meetings. We’re not trying to squeeze in dinners with friends, social gatherings or missions to the gym.

We literally wake up every morning with a blank slate. A whole day ahead of us to design in the way that works best for us.

I’ve been wanting to write about this issue for a long time. Something happened to me yesterday that acted as a catalyst, the perfect reminder that these words needed to be written and that this is a conversation I’m eager to dive into.

Failure. Yeah I know, it comes up a lot when we talk about entrepreneurship right ? It’s become yet another buzzword and almost a rite of passage for anyone in the start up world.

But I don’t want to talk about the lessons we learn from failure, or the value in it. I want to talk about the reality of it. The messiness, the isolation and the impact it can have.

Sometimes the perfect storm will arrive. At the very moment when you think you can’t handle it. With a force that feels like it might sweep you up and make you disappear.

Sometimes the challenge feels so immense that you question whether you can face it. Every single element that could fall apart has fallen apart and now it’s on you.

Today I had a bunch of meetings to go to so I figured I’d use my driving time productively and listen to the latest episode of The Spaceship Earth. It’s a phenomenal podcast by Dan Burgess - creative strategist, co-designer, nature connector & all round epic human being. I was lucky enough to work with Dan last year on an awesome event in SF called Ocean Hack, and he’s been a fellow Wavemaker at our events in Portugal - so listening to his podcast always feels like such a joy.

His interview today was with Will Skeaping, former creative strategist in the ad industry, who quit his job six months ago to work full time with Extinction Rebellion. He’s one of the four co-editors of This is not a drill - The XR Handbook.

I just got back from a 10 day trip to a crazy little island called Mustique in the Caribbean. We were running a pilot for the Ambassadors for the Planet curriculum and shooting a bunch of content for the island about their amazing sustainability initiatives. 100% dream work.

And yet here I am feeling kinda flat.

I’m packing for a trip. Tomorrow morning I leave for a ten day work trip to the Caribbean. We’re running a pilot for the environmental education program I’ve been working on for the last year. It’s a project I have poured blood, sweat & tears into. Something that (I really hope) has the potential to make a dent - a way to engage kids in the environmental issues we’re facing with optimism & curiosity. I haven’t seen the finished print workbook yet - it’s being couriered to the airport tomorrow morning in London so I can grab them before I get on my next flight.

We might never fit in. We will always be the ones with cuts & bruises. Both literal & metaphorical. The ones with wet hair & sunburnt noses. The ones who couldn’t care less about the car, the house, the holidays. The ones who never wear make up & barely brush their hair. The ones who will say it how it is, even if it makes everyone uncomfortable. Who throw the rule book out the window whilst feeling a sense of absolute relief and pure terror at the same time.